The BIG Kahuna

Look at Bridgestone Tire’s Tagline…

How generic can this be? What’s the benefit to a Bridgestone customer? What company doesn’t strive for excellence? Imagine a company the size of Bridgestone with all their uniqueness coming up with this for a positioning?

This is what fuels marketing people to say a tagline is not necessary. Yet when done right it works masterfully.

A tagline is a company’s one chance to differentiate themselves from the competition. To stand out and apart. It should leverage your brand identity. What’s Bridgestone’s brand identity?

Here’s how to do it right:

Volvo - For Life

You see how Volvo leverages their “Safety” positioning? Can ANYONE else in the auto industry claim safety? They all say their safe but Volvo OWNS safety. What does Bridgestone own?

If you’re going to be vanilla and generic don’t bother having a tagline.

In an effort to keep making horrible ads that have nothing to do with whatever Burger King’s brand identity is they’ve come out with this pile of crap:

Let’s not forget their past insulting work here, Mexican get sizzled, and here, Slap that booty.

Obviously the only branding strategy Burger King can come up with is to be controversial. Brilliant.

So I’m out of the Burger King loop. They obviously want people in the business to write negatively about them because what women is gonna run out and buy this sandwich now? And do men really think they’ll get a blow job? No, the only thing Burger King wants is press, so stop giving it to them, they don’t deserve it.

Ads are meant to do one thing…sell product, period.

I saw two new commercials yesterday. Ford came out with their new branding. Here it is:

Our cars are quality and as reliable as Toyota or Honda. Brilliant huh? I’ll bet my yearly paycheck that if I went out and asked 100 regular Americans where they thought Ford’s quality rated amongst Honda, Toyota and a few others they would rank near the bottom.

Why does Ford persist on trying to change their poor brand image?  They should focus on core strengths not weaknesses. But they can’t focus (pardon the pun) on strengths because they have absolutely no brand identity!

Volvo owns safety (owned by Ford), BMW owns driving, Mercedes own luxury, what does Ford or GM own? Shouldn’t they own “American”? Like the Mustang/Corvette muscle cars? Americans will buy that product all day long (good gas mileage or not). It’s not about being green or gas mileage, it’s about wants and desires and fulfilling them.

GM came out with their even more ridiculous “be everything to everyone” campaign.

We’re smaller, more nimble. We’re gonna focus on cars that get better gas mileage, greener blah, blah blah.

C’mon GM, seriously? When is the auto industry going to learn that green cars, better mileage doesn’t really matter. It matters when gas is at $5/gallon but it’s quickly forgotten when gas is at $2/gallon. People buying Hummers didn’t buy them because they got great gas mileage or were trying to be green.

Developing and owning a brand identity is what has made auto makers like Volvo, BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, Honda, Toyota and others successful. They each offer a differentiating factor not a “me too” factor like our American Auto Industry. Do you think Toyota would say their quality is as good as Ford’s?

What do you say Kahunas?

We don’t participate in RFP’s. We don’t do spec work. We often lose business because of it. Good riddance, it wasn’t business worth having. Here’s a really funny video of the things prospects try and pull over on agencies. The sad thing is agencies often cave.

My company has been with Jumpline Hosting for over 9 years. We’ve had our share of problems but never switched because it was a pain in the butt. Their service is slightly above awful at best. Lately things have really become bad and our website has gone down too many times to count.

I emailed them today with this question:

2nd time today the site has “went down”. Earlier it was restarted which seemed to get it going again but now it’s back down.

Here’s the response from them:

Dear Scott White,

This account was disabled earlier by one of our System Administrators because of the high load your site was causing. I have re-enabled this for you, but if this continues to be a problem, the admins will suspend the account again.

Sincerely,
Tim Robison
Jumpline, Inc. Support Team

Jumpline, Inc.
101 E. Town St.
Suite 540
Columbus, Ohio 43215
USA

Toll-free 1-800-651-2028
Local 1-614-859-1170

Since nothing in our site has changed I was dumbfounded by this response. High load? My account is fully paid for and you will just rip it down without even the graciousness of a warning email/phone call? What kind of way is that to treat a long time customer?

So I called Jumpline.com, currently I’ve been on hold for 40 minutes, ah…fun times with Jumpline.com. I spoke with Joe Elson and asked him what they meant by “high load”? Joe read from a list of 6 or 8 things it might be but couldn’t tell me what it was and how to fix it. So I asked for a supervisor. I was told he wouldn’t talk to me but they’d open up a ticket to see if they could find out why.

Here’s the deal, cutting a customer off that has paid for their service in advance is wrong on so many levels. Not notifying the customer of said cut off just makes you look like jerks who don’t care about their customers.

I’ll be switching to a new hosting company tomorrow. Good bye Jumpline!

As a registered Republican it’s been interesting to see how the party would right itself after the election. I’ve waited and waited. Nothing. The Republican party is a real mess. And they’ve lost their brand identity completely. Right now it doesn’t know which direction to go in.

85% of the problem was George W. He single handedly made everyone in the Republican Parties name mud. But now he’s gone and it’s time to rebuild conservatism within the party. Sure Obama and the general public will continue to blame George W. for all their problems but the truth is it’s on Obama and the Democrats now as they control the country.

So what can Republicans do? Which direction should they go in?

They need to go back to their roots and core brand identity. They need to stand for capitalism, the small business owner, they need to fight the urge to tax everything (like what’s rumored now -soda), they need to stand for big business, they need to stand for LESS government involvement. Conservatism. They need for someone to step forward and start to be the NEW face of the Republican party. Who is that new face?

Now you’ll always have your far right and left in any party so I’m basically going to eliminate them from the equation. I’m also going to eliminate abortion from the issues as the country continually votes 50/50 on the issue. If abortion is tops on your personal voting list you’ll most likely vote in that direction. So if the Republicans bring a pro life candidate through it really won’t make too much of a difference one way or the other. The real issues here are conservatism. But done right.

Currently the Republican party has absolutely no voice as the Democrats control the House, Senate and Presidency. So really there is not much they can do to make a difference. It looks like their strategy is to sit back and give the Democrats enough rope to hang themselves. And I believe this hands off strategy is best and could work. But only time will tell. Right now the American people are still star struck with Obama. Let’s see how they feel 2 years from now.

It’s time to re-build the Republican brand. Not on religion. Not on sensitive issues like abortion or gay marriage (even though Obama was clearly against gay marriage). These issues will all middle out. The one thing that crosses over to all the people is money. Money gets votes. Will you have more or less. Will your small business be over taxed to death or not. Will the government be telling you where to eat (and what not to drink), which car to drive, what bank to get a loan from etc.

Republicans need to unite, start sending some leaders to the forefront. Where is Mitt Romney or Newt Gingrich? Personally I think a smart businessman like Mitt Romney is the answer the Republicans need to bring forward conservatism. He’s a proven business leader.

What are your thought fellow Republicans, where should the party go as a brand?

That’s the concept for our newest project. Here’s the background, the real estate market is depressed. Depressed beyond belief. Million dollar homes in St. Thomas haven’t sold in over 18 months. So how do we differentiate and market?

We raffle off the villa for $100 ticket. Here’s our campaign:

There?s still time, there?s still a way to be a?

VIRGIN

?Islander

Don?t worry. We?ll be gentle. We know this is probably your first time. After all, the idea of actually owning a stunning, exquisite, fully stocked, elaborately furnished 6 bedroom, 6.5 bath waterfront estate in prestigious Mahogany Run in St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, is probably a brand new ? maybe even a shocking ? experience, to say the very least.

Shocking as well are all the things that come with this extraordinary home. Like the absolutely breathtaking view of the Atlantic ocean and neighboring gem-like islands. And the sheer, gorgeous drama of living right on the edge of a stunning cliffside.

But most shocking of all? The fact that this gorgeous, guarded, gated golf community retreat, valued at some $2 million, can be yours with a raffle entry of just $100!

Raffle entries are priced at $100 each. The more entries, the better your chances.

For all raffle terms and conditions, including rules regarding eligibility, please click here: http://www.vipropertyraffle.com/terms.html

You can still be a?

VIRGIN

?Islander

The seller gets to determine the exact amount they?ll accept for the property. The winner will get the property for well under market value, the unsuccessful bidders will have enjoyed the game and the Realtor will get to continue to manage the rentals.

What do you think? If you like it tell a friend and buy a ticket. You could win this 2 million dollar villa for a measly C-Note!

Want a sure fire way to start to destroy your brand identity? Have one of your judges lip synch her new song.

Seriously, Paula Abdul lip synched (on a singing competition show) to her new song. The entire brand identity for American Idol is that they find untapped talent that can SING.

The hapless Washington Nationals took the field the other night wearing the branded uniforms pictured below:

Yea, the uniforms are spelled incorrectly. Can you imagine a major league team sending their players out in misspelled uniforms? I can’t. I’ve seen major corporations re-print hundreds of thousands of dollars in brochures because someone missed a typo and spelled the company name wrong. Shouldn’t your branding mean something?

If you can’t get your own name right what can you get right?

I’ve been harping on Burger King and Quizno’s about their pathetic, gimmicky advertising so I thought I’d show you how it should be done. Volvo seems to stay on their brand identity of “safety” almost all the time. Ask 10 people on the street what Volvo means and you’ll hear “safety” most of the time. Check out these spots and notice how they leverage their branding.

Now these spots aren’t slick, naughty, funny or anything else but on brand. People buy Volvo’s because their safe. I like how they’re tying in the “Luxury of Life” as well. What do you think?

Not sure what is going on with fast food and branding but apparently making bad, offensive ads are where it’s at. Here’s one from Quizno’s that has references to homosexuality and anything else you can see in this sick, offensive spot.

Some memorable lines:

“Not gonna do that again, I burn” Referring to masochism

“Put it in me, Scott” Referring to the phallic name “Toasty Torpedo”

Seriously, what is the brand strategy here? Gay men that are masochists will want to shop for the “foot long”? I just don’t get it? It’s not funny…whatsoever.

Rebecca Steinfort is responsible for Quiznos? domestic marketing efforts, including building a marketing strategy that attracts and retains guests, determining the overall brand message and media plan, and promoting Quiznos? Delivery and Catering Program. Prior to joining Quiznos in early 2007, she spent seven years in the telecommunications industry in a variety of strategic, product and project management roles.? Rebecca also spent six years consulting to consumer products, retail, and technology companies earlier in her career.

Help me out here, does this ad work?

Last week I wrote about Burger King introducing the Booty Call to 5 year olds. This week they’ve insulted an entire country and race of people. In this spot they feature a little Mexican draped in the Mexico flag. Why is he little in stature compared to the tall cowboy? Because they’ve introduced a “little spicy mexican” to the Whopper, check it out:

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) ? Fast food giant Burger King apologized Tuesday for an advertisement featuring a squat Mexican draped in his country’s flag next to a tall American cowboy and said it would change the campaign. Read about it here.

Obviously Burger King feels that any negative PR or Buzz is helping their effort. Tell me, when did bad advertising get better because of additional buzz? Burger King has been going down this road for years now, they don’t care. About you, or anyone else they’ve offended. To them the more complaints the better.

Here’s the wonderful spot aimed at kids to promote their kids meal:

If any of this offends you make a conscience decision, don’t eat at Burger King.

In a brilliant move to be like their competitors Kentucky Fried Chicken is now Kentucky Grilled Chicken. Read all about it here.

Here’s what their President Roger Eaton says, he spent years as part of the team tinkering with a grilled alternative, and the roll-out follows KFC’s longest market test ever. It will be backed by a marketing blitz.

I can’t wait for the “Marketing Blitz”, how exciting (insert sarcasm).

Okay for what seems like 200 years Kentucky Fried Chicken has branded itself with their “secret recipe”. It worked well and they clearly differentiated themselves in the marketplace, and still do. So why be like everyone else? Here’s what I would have done.

I would have embraced our “finger lickin’ chicken” fatness. If you want to lose weight or eat healthy go to Subway (that’s their positioning) but if you want some really great greasy comfort food that no one else can duplicate eat at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Yummy, sign me up.

Imagine if they just embraced their “fried” brand identity and then implemented their “marketing blitz”. It would fly in the face of health conscience people. Maybe their new tagline could be “Eat Here, Get Fat”. It’s not like we all don’t know what we’re getting into when we visit a KFC. We go there because we WANT it. We know it’s bad for us.

But sales have been down and McDonald’s sells lots of grilled chicken…

Here’s the setting…

Burger King CMO and marketing team want to promote their .99 kids meal featuring Sponge Bob Square Pants. Sounds easy enough? Here’s what they came up with:

There are so many things wrong with this spot I can’t even begin, but here goes.

Target Market: 5-9 year old: Really, you want 6 year olds running around saying “Booty is Booty”, seriously?

Sir Mix Alot should be ashamed for letting this big pile of crap use his song. I’m a child of the 80’s and I loved Baby’s Got Back, but not for my freakin 7 year old.

Burger King has been consistently putting out this whacky advertising. Apparently they think the buzz (good or bad) is worth it. I find their commercials to be weird, creepy and insulting.

I will never, ever again visit a Burger King.

This morning I woke up to news that President Obama has fired GM President Rick Wagoner. Which now means the government is running GM, at least for now. I’ll say it again…The government is running GM.

Sure GM took some bailout money, sold their soul to the devil and are now paying the price. But here’s the part to ponder. Obama and his group gave GM and Chrysler a last chance effort to come back with a plan that would get them out of this mess. A plan? How does a company whip up a marketing/financial plan on the spot when they obviously haven’t had a plan for years?

Was it a big surprise that gas prices went up and their products were gas guzzlers? Was it a big surprise that they built copycat vehicles to compete with Honda and Toyota instead of differentiating themselves?

GM and Chrysler have been clueless for the last 20 years. What’s either of their branding stand for? If Volvo equals safety what does GM and Chrysler stand for? Nothing.

Then factor in the unions. What role did they play in destroying the American car maker? So here’s what you have. A company sucked dry from the unions (Obama supports these guys so it’s not their fault), with no vision or brand identity that’s somehow in trouble? There is only one solution for these brands.

Let them die. Before you know it we’ll see new, exciting brands pop up. They will most likely be niched brands that will differentiate themselves. Maybe we’ll get an automaker that just makes electric cars? Who knows but it’s time to let capitalism shine.

The last thing I want my president doing is acting as a CMO!

Wisconsin paid $50,000 for this logo and tagline…

The tagline has been used many times over with other companies.? Read about that here. Why use and pay for a tagline that clearly does not differentiate but instead puts you right in the middle of the pack? And what are your thoughts of the logo? Worth 50K?

Is this a brand extension from hell or what?

All the fuss has died down on Seth Godin’s Meatball Sundae book so I thought now would be a good time to chat on it.

The book is very easy to read and I liked how he wrote in 1-2 page chapters. Made it very easy to follow along. His explanation of new marketing was on target.

Here’s what was missing… Branding. Nothing really ever mentioned on how companies can translate new marketing into a big picture branding strategy. After all new marketing is really just a bunch of tactics. Write a blog, build a forum etc. All of these are mere tactics. How do they translate to and interact with a companies brand identity?

I also felt that Seth was somewhat?harsh on traditional media. He lumps TV advertising into one bin and says it’s done. And although I do agree to some extent I also believe that GREAT, targeted?TV Advertising works exceptionally well. And here’s where the rub is…Permission Marketing.

Seth believes that interrupting consumers is bad, hence his disdain for spam, tv commercials, radio ads etc. Whereas I believe that consumers expect interruption but because it’s generally bad they despise it. But I also believe that good, targeted interruption can be very beneficial. Here’s an example:

Say I have a great diabetes?cereal product like Glucerna (http://glucerna.com/product/cereal.aspx), a well targeted email campaign to people with diabetes could be very helpful. Is it Spam? Technically, yes. But it will be of serious help to this targeted list. Will they see it as an interruption? I don’t think so. I have diabetes and saw Glucerna’s TV commercial and immediately went to their website to learn more.

So I do feel like there is a grey area to Permission Marketing. What are your thoughts?

Corey Vidal made a tribute video on YouTube to John Williams and Star Wars (check it out, it’s killer)

He taps into the movies Close Encounters, Superman, ET, Jaws and Jurassic Park. The video is incredibly creative and a true tribute to John Williams.

Warner Brothers (gone over to their lawyers aka, the dark side) made YouTube pull it down because it “violated” copyright laws. C’mon, are you kidding me? this video is a tribute as a true fan.

Read about here on CNET.

Then Corey came out with this video to stir the pot:

What are your thoughts?