The BIG Kahuna

I see the Volkswagen Beetles with the Geek Squad logo and I wonder? I love the Geek Squad name. It?s a negative and positive all at the same time. After all if you want someone to work on your computer a geek is the way to go.?

So far the Geek Squad branding is knocking me over, but in a good way. So the time comes when I need to re-do my wireless network. Who do I instantly think of? You got it, the Geek Squad.

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I?m actually pretty excited to see what happens next. I place the call and I get a pre-recorded message from one of the ?law enforcement? personnel. Very funny and very true to the whole branding effort. Man, I love the Geek Squad so far.??

A live person comes on and after 45 minutes of questions and answers an appointment is forthcoming and a Geek Squad Double Agent will call me. But the call never comes. ?I call back and unfortunately the 45 minutes I spent the first time around has been completely screwed up. I feel sad. I give the geeks a second chance and go through the entire process again. Presto a second appointment is set.?

My Double Agent arrives right on time, check. He?s in full uniform, black pants, black tie, and white shirt and oh, yes, white socks, check-check. I love it! Staying true to the brand identity is what it?s all about. So hopefully he?ll geek me out.?

Two hours later my laptops are secure and wireless and networked to my printer, scanner, copier, fax machine. I?m happy. While my Double Agent was working on my network he got a call. He answered the call ?Hello, this is Double Agent DaSilva how can I help you?. Wow, I want to cry?the branding is?so damn good!?

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This would have been a perfect execution of branding and identity if it weren?t for the call center that messed everything up. I?m giving them a pass because everything else was perfect, right down to the white socks.? Kudos to the Geek Squad for a masterful branding experience. Keep up the great work!

So I?m shopping for a gift for my nephew who loves soccer. I want to get something he?ll really like. My first step is to go online and find a soccer goals website. I do a Google search for the term soccer goals. The results page comes up and now I have to pick one of the top ten listings.

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The soccer goals results page is as follows:?

1. fold-a-goal.com/
2. youtube.com/watch?v=XaXz-dryqLg
3. youtube.com/watch?v=yeXoxNP8_xY
4. jaypro.com/
5. sportsunlimitedinc.com/soccergoals.html
6. soccergoals.com/
7. esoccergoals.com/
8. scoremaster.com/
9. www.soccergoalzinc.com/
10. goalsports.com/

Now, some people will say that search engine optimization is all you need. And to some degree we agree. SEO brings the horse to water but now you have to make it drink. This is where branding makes the difference. As I went through the list there was only one possible candidate I would buy soccer goals from: A company that had a brand name like Franklin Sports.?

Out of these entire listings only one sold a top brand name. That?s sad and it shows the power of branding. You could have the best soccer goals in the world but if it doesn?t come with built in branding forget it.?This is why I bought the soccer goal from a Franklin Sports distributor. How do you shop?

If I had a nickel for every time I visited a client and asked them what their brand identity and positioning was and watched blank stares I?d be rich. And we?re talking about major corporations. Now if there are say 4 people in that meeting I?m bound to get 4 different answers.?When they finally answer here?s what they say:?

1. Service ? we?re the best
2. Value ? we?re the least expensive or we?re the most expensive
3. Quality ?we strive for the best product/service
4. Reputation ? clients trust us

Then I ask them what competitor of theirs doesn?t say the same thing? That?s the point where they think I?m the man or ask me politely to leave.

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Here?s the deal. It takes somebody with guts to want to be different. Most people just want to be everything to everyone. That just doesn?t work. You need to differentiate not duplicate.?Ask yourself this:?

1. How do we want to be perceived? We call that brand identity, what we stand for.
2. How are we perceived? That?s your brand image.
3. What makes us different and better? That?s positioning.

Answers those questions and you?re way ahead of the game and most likely your competition. Want to get there??

Click here: Branding Research?

So I?m sitting here watching football when my wife gets noticeably upset. I ask her what?s wrong. She says Vera Wang has decided to slum itself and sell out by joining forces with discounter Kohl?s Department Stores.?

See the article here:

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/retail/2006-08-24-vera-wang_x.htm. ?

I never thought I?d actually say Vera Wang and Kohl?s in the same sentence but alas I have.

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Vera says that “it has troubled” her for quite a while not to be able to offer her designs to all women. “We have been quite elitist in terms of price points,” she said. Ah, Miss Wang?that?s what differentiates you! You don?t want to be everything to everyone. The fact that regular women can?t afford you is what makes you great. We call that Brand Identity; it?s a freakin good thing.?

Do these people just not consult with anyone prior to ruining their brands? Will she make oodles of cash in this deal?yup, you betcha. Will it cheapen her brand? Oh yea, big time. And 2 years from now the movie stars will be wearing the next Vera Wang but not Vera Wang because anyone can get that can?t they.? ?

Once you?ve established your company as a premium, luxury brand you can?t sink all the way to the bottom. Why not Wal-Mart Vera? Were they just too cheap??Join the other companies of the world that try and be everything to everyone. There you can be a vanilla company that sells $99 gowns. Sounds great huh?

So I?m an official word of mouth agent for BzzAgent. Basically what it means is I?m given products to get to know and then spread the word about. So I was excited to receive my first word of mouth campaign ? Tequila!?

So I get the Hornitos Tequila package which includes a drink shaker, recipe books, memory stick and a brochure, no, I repeat, no sample of the drink itself. ?

The first thing that hits me right over the head is the HORRENDOUS brand name Hornitos. First I thought Horney, and then I thought Doritos. What the hell, Horney Doritos, YUCK!

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Ah, I?m pretty sure when I?m Horney I?m not looking for Doritos. They actually explain the name Hornitos in their brochure with the quote ?OK, minds out of the gutter?. Ah, if you have to say that then you may have a brand image problem.?Seriously, I couldn?t get past the name.

Then I ?Buzzed? my wife about it and she looked at me and said ?does that mean Horney in Spanish? I said no entiendo Senora.?So I bought the Horney Doritos and gave it a taste. Very good, yummy in fact. I like Horney Doritos! But really would I buy it otherwise? Nope. If I saw it on the shelf I?d head right for the Patrone.?

Bottom line, change the name, re-brand and you could have a winner! Call us, we can help.

I?m reading through some branding blogs the other day when I see a post from Brandon Fritz at Kolbrener Branding ? Marketing. He?s their new ?SEO? guy. So Brandon goes on to bash Brand Identity Guru about?our SEO practices and branding services. None of which have a shred of truth.

?(those colors look strangely familiar)?

What really get?s under our skin though is that Mike Kolbrener allows this type of stuff. If you claim to be a branding agency, which they are obviously not (looks like their a hyped up graphic design company at best) then why bad mouth a fellow branding company? Doesn?t that ultimately make you look bad??

So we wrote to Mike Kolbrener several emails- seems he just doesn?t want to talk about his new?employee Brandon Fritz. I wonder why? Here?s a quote from their web site on the hire of Brandon Fritz:

Hired Brandon Fritz as Interactive Services Manager. His responsibilities include Search Engine Optimization (SEO) strategy and maintenance, as well as managing and assisting with implementation of Web and interactive media projects.

?We emphasize the value of SEO planning, and adding an in-house SEO expert to our team enhances our ability to meet our clients? needs in that area,? noted Mike Kolbrener, the firm?s CEO.

?Beyond that, Brandon is an exceptional young man with an impressive knowledge of interactive media and a strong entrepreneurial drive. He?s a great fit for our clients and target markets, and for our growing agency.?

Well, let?s look at the statement from Mike Kolbrener:?

1.???? Does Brandon?s services also include going online during the work day and bashing branding companies about their branding capabilities? Ask Brandon to define brand equity for us. As soon as he can he can talk about branding. Brandon?s obviously not a branding strategist.?

2.???? Does Brandon?s responsibilities include lying and deceiving potential prospects about Kolbrener’s SEO competition? Because that?s what he?s done. Some may even say that?s unfair competition.?

3.???? Hey Mike, if this cats so good why does Kolbrener rank below Brand Identity Guru on every major branding keyword(s) in Google? Check them out- we dare you!?

a.???? Branding Agency (we?re #1)

b.???? Branding Company (we?re #1 and #2?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

c.?????Branding Strategy (we?re #4 and #5 ?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

d.???? Corporate Branding (we?re #4 and #5 ?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

e.???? Internet Branding (we?re #4 ?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

f.??????Corporate Internet Branding (we?re #5 and #6 ?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

g.???? Brand Development (we?re #2?ah, you?re not in the top 10)

h.???? Brand Name Development (we?re #3?ah, you?re not in the top 10)?

Those are the homeruns of branding terms, but I don?t see you in the top ten on almost any of them. Where are you in Google and what exactly does your SEO guy Brandon Fritz do????

Question: How and why would potential clients of Kolbrener branding buy your search engine optimization services if Kolbrener marketing can?t even rank for their own top phrases??

I had to laugh, chuckle even when I saw the 50 searches that were done on the term kolbrener online marketing. Here?s where it gets comical?we?re #1 over Kolbrener on their own freakin phrase.Hey Brandon, you?re really not too good at SEO are you? Good hire Michael!

Check it out here, that is if you want a nice chuckle:

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2006-18,GGLG:en&q=kolbrener+online+marketing

Maybe Brandon can concentrate on your own SEO campaign and less on the competitors that are kicking?your ass up and down the internet. Just a thought. But since you haven?t responded to our emails I can only imagine you just don?t care?.?Now that I think about it you’re really not our competition are you? If customers want to hire an SEO company they’d choose us over you all day. If they wanted a TRUE branding agency they’d choose us over you as well.

As you may or may not know I have a hard time with bad advertising. My number one pet peeve is an owner doing their own advertising like Bob’s Discount Furniture and Ernie Boch Jr. These guys are just cheese ball owners in monkey suits. But?

WB Mason is a bigger offender. They actually have an ad agency doing their stuff (I don’t know who they are but I’m sure WB Mason calls the shots on that account). I wouldn’t be proud of or take credit for the WB Mason campaign. Their commercials (positioning and identity) are all about how they are the lowest price.

Done in 1930’s style (as detectives) they compare themselves to the office supply superstore (aka Staples) and how customers are getting soaked in high prices (as a woman is carrying out a box of copy paper). First off those boxes are heavy!

How sad. It’s pretty pathetic when the only promise you can make to a customer is price. Basically you are a commodity at that point. Why even advertise WB Mason? You’re already the lowest price. If I’m a cheapo customer and I buy solely on price then you’re for me! Trust me I’ll find you, they always do.

Check out their cheesy commercial:

Personally I’d like to build a strong brand like Staples. One that offers value added services, education, and of course… The Easy Button! Now that’s some real branding. WB Mason, take notice of how it’s supposed to be done!

People actually buy the Easy Button.

What would anyone buy of WB Mason’s? Ah, nothing because customers don’t have a true connection with them.

So for those owners and so called marketing executives that position on price I say good luck and good riddance. You are closed minded and unfocused on the big picture.

Give me a client that wants to make a customer feel part of something like those Easy Button people of Staples.

And have you looked at WB Mason’s website? It looks like my 14 year old nephew designed it. That really represents their true positioning….cheap!

Soon, Casinos will bring in vanilla restaurants or chain restaurants that will imperil the local restaurateurs. Proponents of this say increased traffic will enhance business volume in local establishments but?the reality is that the casinos make it so customers don?t leave the building.?

Although casinos may put in top grade restaurants soon your local Italian restaurant owned by Salvatore will be on the unemployment line.

Let?s not ruin all the local branding of restaurants.?Tell us what you think.

We established an ongoing list of brands we hate and love. You can see this total list here:?Brands We Love/Hate

But we?ll start with the brand we hate the most:?

???Magellan GPS Navigation?

Magellan is one of the original creators of automobile navigation so they should be the brand leader. But Magellan is one of the most poorly managed companies in the history of poor management. ? Magellan just named a new CEO, Nelson Chan, who apparently is not a branding expert. Let me tell you why, Nelson Chan you are?committing branding suicide.?

“Magellan has already made a significant mark on the GPS market as an early innovator and a reliable provider in segments ranging from auto navigation and outdoor recreation to land survey,” said Chan. “I’m looking forward to taking Magellan into a new era of market leadership based on product innovation and operational excellence that will excite customers and the market.”

Your products don?t work. That?s right; you have a serious quality control problem. Are you aware of this? I?ve made the mistake of buying 3 different GPS units from Magellan and ALL have failed to work for more than 1 year. What are you doing to solve the quality control issues??

If you go online and Google ?Magellan GPS?quality? you?ll see what I mean. The phrase itself can be either positive or negative but you?ll find the negatives severely outweigh the positives.??

But why? Well Nelson Chan let me tell you because you are obviously uncaring of your current brand image or just completely out of touch with your customers.?

Reasons why Magellan GPS brand is bad:?

1. Poor Quality ? Ah, your stuff doesn’t work
2. Poor Service ? Ah, you outsource to India (thanks for that, Americans love to chat with people that barely speak English).
3. You scam us ? Sorry, the device doesn?t work. Buy a refurbished one for $299 or we?ll fix that one for $150 otherwise piss-off!

So let?s delve into why Magellan GPS Navigation has the worst service in the world.

Magellan GPS Navigation outsources their customer service to India. And folks they do that because they appreciate you Mr. Joe Customer so much. Outsourcing to India sends one message only: Magellan GPS doesn?t care about the customer.??

As customers we have a say. Start spreading the word to friends and family. Let them know that Magellan Navigation stinks and if you ever have a problem have fun talking to someone with a name like Jawaharlal but who calls himself ?Larry?. No kidding I?ve been through it. They barely speak English and follow-up is not in their vocabulary.??

Next you scam us. If it doesn?t work you bill us a fee of $150 or sell us another paperweight for going retail price. Huh? You really just don?t care about your branding at all.?

Nelson Chan you are a bad CEO. Because trust me when I say that there is nothing more important than your brand identity and brand image.?And if you don’t know that then you should resign as CEO of Magellan.

Hopefully this will become viral so that other would be purchasers of Magellan GPS units will avoid your company at all cost.??

Readers, help spread the word about Magellan GPS Navigation. Let your friends, associates, collegues and family know that they?should avoid buying their products.??

Let?s teach these big companies a lesson!?

This is the first piece of junk I bought from Magellan:

I mailed this to Magellan to be fixed and they actually lost it. It took me 6 months to get a replacement from them which they charged me $150 for. You’d think it would be a no cost “sorry we lost your unit” but nahhh, you still pay us even though we waited 6 months to replace it. Go Magellan!

About Magellan

Magellan is a leader in the consumer, survey, GIS and OEM GPS navigation and positioning markets. Recognized as an industry innovator, the company is the creator of the Magellan RoadMate series portable car navigation systems, the Magellan eXplorist outdoor handheld navigation devices, the Hertz NeverLost car navigation system and ProMark, the single frequency GPS survey product line on the market. The Company is privately held and headquartered in Santa Clara, California with European headquarters in Carquefou, France.

There are thousands of marketing, advertising, branding and naming companies out there to help you with a naming project.? Naming is not easy. It?s not easy because a client has to give in to the agency that is performing the work. You can?t all the sudden become a namer and start ripping out ideas.?

And this is what always seems to happen.

Clients start adding to the process and things get muddled and stray off strategy. Obviously as the client you have input and we are a team?but remember why you hired a naming agency in the first place.? Because they are the experts. We know what we?re doing and it should be left in our hands.?

I see this for all the creative we do. Suddenly everyone?s a web designer or brochure designer etc. This is frustrating for the agency because we are the experts.

Think of it this way;?If you needed brain surgery would you ask the doctor to hold up a mirror so you could see what they were doing and then offer suggestions on possible repairs of your brain? I know a few clients that would say yes, but most of us would say hell no.?

Have faith in your agency after all you hired them. If you?d like to check out our naming services click on the link below:?

Brand Name Development

Branding.??

Sure it?s super fast, but there are other cars that go that fast. They only made 20 of them and at 1.4 million they sold out in 4 hours. Why??

Branding.?

This is a great example of how you can differentiate yourself and develop such strong brand identity. ?Let?s face it, no one needs a car like this but there is a real reason why typically men buy these cars. Prestige, power, and excitement. And Lamborghini does this like no other. ?

So folks the next time you say that people buy on price think again. Price is almost never the answer when it comes to branding. Because branding eliminates the price dilemma from the equation. Branding makes a consumer feel a certain way. Like glamorous or wealthy or wholesome, you get the picture. What price can you put on making a person feel good?

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And that?s why building a strong brand identity is the most important thing any company can do.?Kudos to Lambo for breaking all the records. Personally I think they should make the first 5 million dollar car!

We?ve just released a hi-def video on our site. Click here: Boston Search Engine Optimization to check it out. Then if you?re interested request a free SEO analysis. It certainly can?t hurt and we actually spend some time on them.?

SEO is by far one of if not the best branding and marketing tactics today. If you?re not optimized you just can?t be found. SEO solves all that. Check it out here:?