The BIG Kahuna

It?s Monday morning and I?m enjoying a cup of Joe and ESPN. Then my morning is torn from me with one TV commercial??

Hewlet Packard (HP) has decided in their great wisdom to get in the logo and web design market. Yup, you can now have HP design a new logo for you. You know HP, the maker of printers and such. Now they are branding, web and logo designers.?

Sorry, I just threw up my cup of Joe. What the *@&* is HP doing extending their brand into the logo and web design world? Are they crazy? Nuts? On crack??

How many of these big companies have to learn the hard lesson that you can?t be everything to everyone. Do they think that because they sell printers that they should now be graphic and web designers? ?

And of course HP has priced their ?design? services from $99 and up. Lots of strategic value in there I?m sure. ?

Damn, now I have to go make a new cup of Joe. Thanks HP, you morons!

I found this video on YouTube and apparently it?s the new viral video. If someone goes to this much trouble and work to make a video then I?ll become part of the viral wave?

Great job!

Gosh I really can?t stand it when these righteous word of mouth companies get up on their soap box telling the world that WOMM (word of mouth marketing) is the best thing since sliced bread. Some of the guys really know what the heck their talking about but others drive me nuts. ?

Enter Brains On Fire newest blog entry. Spike Jones once again gets on his WOM high horse (he?s apparently the self proclaimed master of WOM) and rambles on about a company breaking Ogilvy?s Blogger Outreach Code of Ethics. Though Ogilvy did a fine job of inventing these ethics they?re certainly not a rule. At least I didn?t get the official word on rules. They?re nice ideas but not rules. Who the hell is Spike Jones to slam a company over these ?rules?? There are no rules. Do whatever you want for God?s sake. If it doesn?t work then you may want to try a different approach. But these are not, repeat, not official rules.?

Personally I like most of these suggestions and recommend them. Spike Jones is a wanna be sales weasel at best. If you read his?blog regularly you?ll notice it?s a lot of regurgitated stuff from other WOM guys (guys that know what their talking about). Personally I?d recommend Jonathan Salem Baskin http://dimbulb.typepad.com/ or John Moore http://brandautopsy.typepad.com/. ?They?re always doing great stuff and as far as I know neither of them have claimed to be the WOM expert like Spike Jones.?

Listen, WOM is a great marketing tactic without doubt. But there is no ?best? tactic. A multi-tiered branding program is still the way to go. You mix in some social media, search engine optimization, internet marketing etc. etc. Heavens forbid I say Direct Mail or Print Advertising. Gosh that would really send poor old Spike off his rocker. I might get hit by the WOMM Police. What?s the going rate on a ticket for breaking Spike?s make believe rules??

Remember to always leverage your brand identity. That?s the real key. Don?t do anything without asking yourself ?how will this impact my brand identity???

And to Spike Jones, please let Ivey & McCoig know that I appreciated Their Christmas Card. Marvin the Martian Rocks!

I read a great branding?blog article on online advertising this morning from my friend Jonathan Salem Baskin at Dim Bulb this morning. He questions whether online advertising is or should be a medium in today?s ad world. He makes some really great points. Here?s my response to his article:?

Well I agree that TV advertising is dead, dead and dead. Now we just Tivo or DVR right through that ad spending. ?

Online advertising? I think if we keep moving in a positive direction it will be the most effective way to advertise. Social Media is a tremendous opportunity for advertisers if they play by the rules. If they start “selling” and forget they are “sharing” they will lose big money. ?

Don’t forget Search Engine Optimization (SEO) in this mix of online advertising as well. We’ve optimized all?our clients sites and they are having BIG time success. Sales are increasing at exponential rates.?

The reason? If you are in Google’s top ten then the consumer feels you must be of importance. The walls come down and sales are made. Thank Google and its branding for that.?

We haven’t chased a traditional lead in years. Customers just usually call us in a panic, ready to go. Google branding company, our little company of 15 is #1 and #2. ?

I really believe that there is and should be a place for online advertising. Bloggers are now paid to write reviews. Links from your site suddenly have a value. People who wouldn’t ordinarily have a revenue stream now do.?

It’s here to stay as long as we remember it’s different.

I keep preaching in my branding?blog that trying to be everything to everyone is bad. Companies only see the ability to make as many sales as possible. Hey even though we?re an office supply company why not sell coffee? While we?re at it why not sell neck ties. People in offices wear ties don?t they? Stupid, stupid and more stupid.

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You need to develop a brand identity and positioning and then live it. I found a great little article from John over at Brand Autopsy which says it all.

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Think different, be different and be real.

Supermarket Branding?Do you think any supermarket company delivers on any sort of branding at all? I have Shaw?s, Stop and Shop, Star Market and a slew of local stores in my neighborhood. I couldn?t tell you how any of them are positioned or what their brand identities are? And I?m a pro??

They have truly commoditized their industry. Only one of them, Stop and Shop has stepped out and differentiated. They opened up PeaPod, an online delivery service. I?ve used PeaPod since they?ve opened. Talk about convenience and time savings. I shop online and they deliver everything to the house the next day. Whoopdeedoo!? They are all great at garnishing statistics on your food shopping choices but they all fail at one thing. Branding. None of them care enough to care enough about the customer. Branding is all about making people feel a certain way. How do you feel at a supermarket? You should feel a certain way in a certain store. But I?m sure like me, you don?t.?

Now comes along Fresh & Easy (a new brand from Tesco).

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Fresh & Easy stores are only a quarter of the size of the traditional US supermarket, based on the Tesco Express local stores format that has worked well in the UK. Innovations include a ?kitchen table? of freshly prepared hot foods, check-out registers that require customers to scan their own goods and over half of the products sold under Fresh & Easy?s own label.?

“The combination of Fresh & Easy’s smaller stores, self service tills and ready-to-cook meals has direct appeal among U.S. shoppers whose primary concern is convenience,” says Jennifer Halterman, senior consultant at TNS Retail Forward. “There is demand for this type of concept, and we expect other U.S. retailers to be watching Tesco closely for ideas on how to tap into this buoyant market. Fresh & Easy’s smaller store size gives it an ideal formula to replicate quickly throughout the United States.”?

Let?s look at this realistically. So you are going to be making smaller more CONVENIENT type stores huh. Brilliant! Wait, don?t we already have convenience stores? Ah, yup so what?s convenient about ringing in your own stuff? Last thing I want to do is any kind of work! I tried that at a Home Depot and didn?t like it much. And how about ready to cook meals? Wouldn?t a fast food restaurant suit that bill??

Look, when you try to be everything to everyone you get a bunch of crap. And personally that?s what I think is going to happen here. It may be a hit for a while but long term it?s nothing more than a glorified convenience store.

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I?ll stick with PeaPod, now that?s convenient! And by the way the only company that clearly is differentiating and positioning themselves. The rest of the supermarkets just sell based on location.?Maybe some smart ass supermarket chain will develop a brand identity around location. Like, come see us because we put stores in areas you drive by. We care about you so we?re centrally located. Don?t go to Shaw?s it?s an extra half mile away come to Location-Mart. How?s that?

Last night I attended the V.I.P. Party for the new St. Thomas Virgin Islands Hooters. As I walked through the Hooter pearly gates I came through a tunnel of Hooter girls cheering me on as I entered the restaurant. Sort of like when an NFL team runs onto the field and through the cheerleaders. As tacky as it was I felt special and I smiled.

Those that have any experience with the Caribbean know that things that work in the states don?t always work in St. Thomas. Many chain restaurants have died a quick death in St. Thomas (ask Cold Stone Creamery and Taco Bell). But Hooters will live, I hope.

Hooters understands branding. They know their restaurant isn?t right for everyone. They try to be different. After all they?re not going to win any food awards (although the wings kick butt). They sell sex and a fun atmosphere, and it works.

For this special night they literally flew in about 50 Hooter girls from all over the world. Some went from the airport right to the new location and were serving me wings within an hour of landing. All the girls were true Hooter clones. You may not like it but once again it works. Being a Hooter girl is an honor. How many of your employee?s feel that way about working for your company? That?s branding!

I was happy to see that Hooters is Hooters even in St. Thomas. Right down to the last call cheer from atop the bar to the way the food tasted and the girls acted. It was a true Hooter experience.