The other day we took guests visiting from St. Thomas on a Boston Duck Tour. We hyped them up for a fun day and a lot of “quacking”. The Boston Duck Tours are known for quacking at pedestrians or other Duck Boats. It’s corny but fun. Even I do it.

The tour started with our driver “Marco the Plumber” who was dressed like one of the Mario Brothers:

Marco seemed like a very nice man and was informative. But we couldn’t have had any less fun. I actually nodded off during the tour. The people behind me actually said and I quote, “we just lost two hours of our lives”.  During the tour another Duck Boat approached us and Marco actually said, “do you want to quack at that boat (he never discussed quacking during the tour so some of the guests looked at him cross eyed)? I was thinking yea, that’s fun…let’s do it. Then Marco said, “I never tell people to quack or not, it’s up to you”.

What? It’s up to me? No Marco it’s not. It’s part of your brand and therefore your brand is only as strong as you, Marco. We should have been instructed on the quacking at the start of the tour, then visitors could have had fun quacking at people walking by. Even pedestrians quacked at the Duck Boat, although we looked at them in confusion.

Marco lacked the qualities of being a Duck Boat tour guide, mainly he was not funny and he repeated the same attractions over and over again. We drove by the Boston Garden twice and he never mentioned it. That’s sort of famous I guess?

I actually apologized to our guests as my wife and I have been on other Duck Boat Tours that have been fun.

Moral of this story? No matter who your weakest link is they need to stay on brand. They need to know and understand the brand. Then they need to deliver on it consistently. Now I’m not bashing Marco, he was a nice man. Maybe he was having a bad day? And I’ve had other tours that were great. But on this day I felt like we just threw away $140 for little to no value.

If you have drivers, delivery people, movers, customer service people…remember these could be the face of your brand and ultimately the weakest link.

1. It “sells itself.” I don’t need to market

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Okay, you might have a solid product or service. You might even routinely satisfy your customers. They might even send their friends and family to you. But wait. Is that your product or service selling itself? No (that is, unless your widgets have learned to speak). That’s one of your customers playing out-of-the-goodness-of-my-heart salesperson for you. Yeah, word-of-mouth is nice, and if it’s happening for you, congratulations! It’s a sign of a great product or service. But relying on it exclusively can hurt you. Yes, six degrees of separation and all that, but counting on those connecting conversations to consistently mention you, especially down the line, is a bad gamble. Word of mouth needs help. A kick in the butt: a reminder to your customers of their good experience with you and an enticing offer to potential new customers to give you a try.?

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2. “One of these things…looks just like the other”

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You might sell red cars, and Johnny Big Wheel down the street might sell a similar blue car. But what’s under the hood? Even better question: what’s under the hood that makes yours better than the blue car? This is the essence of differentiation in the marketplace, and if you’re not playing up the things about you that make you different-and better-than your competition, your marketing is driving nowhere.

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3. Liar, liar, your business is on fire and up and smoke

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If you think word-of-mouth is powerfully working for you, it’s just a fraction of the punch a bad buzz can pack. The best way to a bad buzz? Over promising and under delivering. It will kill you. That’s why it’s important to be truthful in your marketing. Say what you can do. Not what you wish you could do, or might be able to do. If you must err, do so on the side of under promising and over delivering.

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4. One-trick marketing is like a no-trick magician

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It won’t do anything, and people won’t pay to see your show. To get your message to resonate in?today’s market, you need to make your appeal in every corner the market looks. Print advertising, direct mail, online, telemarketing, public relations, and in person. In every place, a consistent brand image and message.

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5. Microsoft Word clipart is for junior high book reports, not corporate identities

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A logo is the face of your company, so it must be unique and memorable. Not available for millions to place into whatever bake sale flyer they’re working on at the moment. But a corporate identity is more than a logo. It’s your company’s unique value proposition and its products and service…all instantly recognizable on sight of your logo, name and tagline.

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6. Don’t be visually absent

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Talk can be cheap if it’s not paired with a strong visual presence. Well-conceived visuals connected with your market makes your message stick, no matter the medium.

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7. The typewriter and telegraph are cool machines, but not to use today

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A business owner by nature has to have a little bit of Evil Knievel in him, but when it comes to technology, he or she is often more of a cowardly lion. That’s understandable. You got into your business because you know it, like it and can put food on the table with it. Not because you like to tinker with every new business technological innovation that comes down the pike. However, cutting edge technology can be a powerful profit-generating tool for your business, especially when it comes to marketing.

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8. If an employee’s 14-year-old son designs your website, it will be painfully obvious

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A website must have a nice look, but that’s a small part of a good web presence. You have to give your prospect information they need and close the sale fast. Otherwise, they’ll surf on by to a competitor’s website. In today’s digital marketplace, your website must be an integral part of your overall sales strategy. Not just a token presence. More than ever, prospective customers are researching their buying decisions on the web. If your site doesn’t substantiate who you are and your offerings, educate, inspire and finally motivate your visitors to buy, your online presence isn’t strong enough.?

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9. You have a website, but don’t tell anybody

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Having a website is pointless if no one sees it. That’s why it’s just as important to drive traffic to your website as it is to have one. How do you do that? A great way is through traditional advertising like billboards, print ads, signage and printing the web address on all your marketing collateral. Online, there’s search engine optimization, banner ads, online advertorials, keyword purchases, links and cross-promotion strategies. A good mix of online and offline traffic strategies along with solid branding will drive traffic to your website.

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10. “I don’t need to be in the paper”

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On the contrary, editorial coverage carries more credibility than any kind of paid advertising you can do. Getting it, however, is difficult. Only a well-conceived public relations strategy that targets media outlets your prospective customers frequent will get the job done. But it’s not just about writing press releases. It’s about providing relevant information to the media outlets you’re trying to get into and cultivating relationships with key editors and journalists. If you’re successful, you’ll see your name in print and a bigger number on the bottom line.

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11. Branding done yourself is branding done badly

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Given the choice of doing branding yourself and not doing it at all, you may be better off not doing it all. There are few things worse for a business than an “amateurish” image, and that’s usually the result with DIY branding. Even if you know how to do some graphic design work or are a decent writer, good branding takes strategic know-how and the finesse and time to get it just right-things only a good branding agency can offer.

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12. If you think your employees aren’t part of your brand…

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You’re wrong. Your brand is the face of your company in every interaction with the outside world, and your employees interact with it quite a bit. On the phone, on sales calls, at schmoozing and networking events, or in informal settings, you must train your employees to represent your company in a way consistent with its brand image. Doing so can ensure you have an army well-groomed brand ambassadors out there.

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13. Failing to track your branding campaign’s success can lead to future failure

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If you don’t make your market’s reaction to your branding effort your business, your business will suffer mainly because you won’t know where to go next. Successful branding is a constantly evolving process, and if you don’t learn from your mistakes, you’ll continually repeat them-and make more! On the other hand, once you know what your most successful strategies are, you can build off of them. Any branding agency worth its salt will be able to effectively track the success of your campaign.

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14. Don’t forget the clients who got you here, keep good relations

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As businesses grow, they sometimes forget the little people who contributed to their success. Don’t. Those who got you here can be an invaluable resource to you even if their business isn’t as important as it was. Since they’ve known you for a long time, they can offer valuable counsel as to the future direction your company, such as offering their opinion on new products or services. They can also continue singing your praises as another satisfied customer. Plus, you never know when a little fish might eat a big lunch and become a big fish to you again.

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You to can offer great branding advice via our branding blog widget.

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Click here to view the embedded video.

I love the Apple branding because they’ve been genius. I buy some Apple products but am not a brand ambassador for them. I think owning an Apple iPhone is foolish only because you are stuck with one phone provider…AT & T (yikes). That phone may be the best thing since sliced bread but AT & T, well….they ain’t. At least with another phone you can switch cell providers if they suck, right?

Here’s what I would have done differently with the new iPhone branding?release:

1. Ah, er…How about selling these on the Internet first? I mean aren’t Apple’s core audience online? Don’t they live online? Gamers, graphic artist, students, on and on. Apple could have made a real game of this by hiding Easter Eggs or even making an online scavenger hunt. Then when you complete the task or find whatever it is you’re looking for you get a secret “online code” that can only be used once. How fun and word of mouth spreading would that have been?

2. Number the iPhones like works of art. The first 10,000 are collector editions. Wow, that would have been very cool. And it would have made waiting in those ridiculous long lines worth while for the lucky 10,000. Think of the sales on ebay?

3. Give away a secret prize, shhh-don’t tell anyone. Go back to my suggestion #1, for those that complete the task not only do you get the special “Online Code” but you also get 100 free minutes with the phone when they place the order. Same thing for the people waiting in line. But don’t tell anyone about it. Just give it to all online purchases and day 1 in store purchases. Then let all those people brag about their 100 free minutes to all the other people (like me) who think waiting in line is for knuckleheads.

4. If the iPhone already doesn’t have a blog create one. Have a contest (by developing an iPhone YouTube video). The top 3 videos get to be the exclusive bloggers for the iPhone. Those 3 can write about whatever they want (iPhone related)?knowing that millions will be reading the blog. Wow, that would be cool huh?

But instead Apple just sold their stuff to their minions. Stuff that disappointed because they couldn’t get it working the day they bought it. Stuff that every blogger in the world posted about…negatively. Stuff that people like me laugh at because I don’t wait in foolish lines to buy a product that I could be the day after with no lines.

Apple, get back to your branding?genius. No brand is above pissing off their customers so much that they won’t switch from you.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

You just have to step outside your box.

While we were eating a 3 year old started to scream at a table nearby ours. The parents of the child did nothing of course (most parents take the attitude of this YouTube video).

Click here to view the embedded video.

So we politely asked to be moved to an outside table. This should have been the first hint to our waitress that we were unhappy.The 3 year old proceeded to scream for 5 minutes. Then finally the mother of this demon child decided to walk the child around the restaurant to stop it from crying. This happened repeatedly throughout the course of our dinner. More screaming, more walking?.you get the point.

Our night was miserable. And our bill was $125.

We?ve decided that if this happens again that it?s our right to complain to the manger and demand that the restaurant take responsibility. And you know what? Restaurants should be proactive in this respect. They should go to a table and say; ?I?m sorry but your table is disturbing the other tables, please take your child outside the restaurant?. But they never do. Or at least I?ve never seen it happen. They?re too afraid I think.

Hey restaurant managers?.take responsibility!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Make sure your freakin product works!

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Thanks Airborne!

By the way did anyone catch the video on Yahoo where the reporter went to the address where Airborne did its research? Wow, that was some sleazy false advertising huh?

I believe that a tagline that delivers a benefit and delivers or leverages a company?s brand identity is worth its weight in gold.??

Here?s some copy I found on SusannaHutcheson.com:

Business slogans are critical to your branding. The company tagline or slogan is an essential part of your company?s image. Slogans are sometimes called taglines or tag lines, straplines or some other name. But they?re all the same thing. It doesn?t matter what size your business is ? you need a slogan or tagline.

According to a recent article in Business Week, ?Even a small business needs to extend its brand, make it more relevant and more valuable. A good tagline can do that.??

I couldn?t agree more. But before you can start a tagline you need a brand identity. Here?s an example of what I mean.? Volvo equals safety. Ask 10 people what?s the first thing they associate with Volvo and 9 of them will say safety. That?s a strong brand identity. They?ve clearly established themselves as the safe car company.? Now let?s look at their tagline:? ?Volvo for life?? Can you see how that leverages their ?safety? brand identity and how it also delivers the benefit of ?life?? That?s a tagline done well.?

If a tagline is off target it hurts you and?if you don?t have one it hurts you. A tagline can be powerful and actionable.?

Let?s play a little game. Which taglines do you know and associate with? If you know them and the company they belong to then they?ve done their job. Does your tagline measure up??

Tagline?Trivia

What brands are associated with these taglines?

1. You deserve a break today.
2. Be all that you can be.
3. Just do it.
4. It?s the real thing.
5. Where?s the beef?
6. It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.
7. We try harder.
8. Oh, what a feeling?
9. You?ve come a long way, baby.
10. Mmm mmm good
11. It?s where you want to be.
12. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
13. Don?t leave home without it.
14. A different kind of company.? A different kind of car.
15. The Uncola.
16. Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
17. When you care enough to send the very best.
18. Have it your way at?
19. All the News That?s Fit to Print.
20. Put a tiger in your tank.
21. Snap! Crackle! Pop!
22. We bring good things to life.
23. It?s not just a job ? it?s an adventure.
24. The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat.
25. Nothing beats a great pair of legs.

Can you guess them all? ?

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We do marketing for the net in hopes that it will go viral people. But alas ?going viral? is up to the people. Just because you want viral doesn?t mean you?ll get it. Just like we can?t guarantee a direct mail piece, ad, word of mouth marketing etc.

Maybe this will go viral? Then I could add it to our extensive inventory, you know in the stock room.