The BIG Kahuna

Seriously LeBron James needs to hire a branding company and soon. Never mind a PR agency, he needs to look deep into his soul and figure out who the heck he’s gonna be.

From a brand image perception he appears to be all about himself and less about his team. After this years NBA finals he tweets:

“The greater man upstairs know when it’s my time. Right now isn’t the time.”

Geez LeBron are you just a moron? I mean doesn’t God have better things to do than decide NBA champions? And how about taking some personal responsibility for your play? Like averaging 3 points to Dirk’s 10 in the 4th quarter?

Magic Johnson went on to say:

He should have said “I played bad, I’m gonna work hard in the summer and we’ll be back”. Spoken like a true unselfish winner.

But then LeBron went on to say that his critics are gonna wake up to their lives (insert I’m rich and you’re not) and nothing is gonna change. They might be happy he lost for a day or a month (insert he thinks we’re miserable people).

It’s like he has no clue. I guess if you want to be the villian of the league then you may not need a branding company because you’ve accomplished your goal.

What do you think? Is LeBron just not the brightest bulb or is this a master plan?

It stinks to be ripped off but when someone rips you off and does so promoting honor and trust it makes it even worse.

Meet Two Marines And A Truck: www.twomarinesandatruck.com. When you think Marines you envision strength but more importantly honor. Honor is everything to a Marine. Here’s the Marines pledge to honor:

Honor requires each Marine to exemplify the ultimate standard in ethical and moral conduct.  Honor is many things; honor requires many things.  A U.S. Marine must never lie, never cheat, never steal, but that is not enough.  Much more is required.  Each Marine must cling to an uncompromising code of personal integrity, accountable for his actions and holding others accountable for theirs.  And, above all, honor mandates that a Marine never sully the reputation of his Corps (see it here).

So why am I writing about Two Marines And A Truck? Because this company that represents itself as Marines miserably failed at the honor code. Two Marines And A Truck strangely have  the same copy that WE wrote for our client Humboldt Storage and Moving. Honor? You make the call.

Here is the copy we were hired to write for our client:

At Humboldt we understand that moving can be a stressful and unsettling experience. We look at every aspect of the moving process from your point of view and tirelessly work to make you feel comfortable and relaxed. We pledge our commitment to this promise, and that assurance extends to every level of our company, and every employee.

We believe that the first 100 years of our reputable history was only a beginning. What we see now is a great opportunity to reach new heights in our business and in our own lives, by making you, our most important asset, feel at ease throughout the entire moving process. This is our goal for the next 100 years.

You have my word on it.

Jim Sullivan
President

Now check out Two Marines And a Trucks “copy”:

At Two Marines and a Truck we understand that moving can be a stressful and unsettling experience.  We look at every aspect of the moving process from your point of view and tirelessly work to make you feel comfortable and relaxed. We pledge our commitment to this promise, and that assurance extends to every level of our company, and every employee. 

We believe that the first 234 years of our reputable Marine Corps history was only a beginning. What we see now is a great opportunity to extend our service to our country, to our community by employing motivated veterans to make you, our most important asset, feel at ease throughout the entire moving process. This is our goal for the next 100 years. 

You have my word on it.

Nick Baucom

We have your “word” on it Nick? Honor…seems you have little of that. But wait there’s more they then go on to more copy.

Here’s the copy we wrote for our client:

1. We promise to work diligently to add trust, not stress, to the moving process.

2. Your belongings are safe and secure for the entire moving and storage process.

3. You can always expect us to be efficient, professional and service-oriented.

4. We will handle every one of your belongings as if it were our own.

5. You will have all of the information that you need from us up front to successfully budget your move.

6. We will quickly address any and all issues that occur during the moving process.

This is what they are calling their copy:

Two Marines and a Truck Pledge
1.    We promise to work diligently to add trust, not stress, to the move.
4.   Your belongings are safe and protected during the entire move.
5.   You can always expect us to be efficient, professional and proficient.
6.   We will handle every one of your belongings as if it were our own.
7.  You will have all of the information that you need from us up front to budget your move.
8.  We will quickly address any and all issues that occur during the moving process.

Our client then contacts them to let them know that their Marine honor system has gone askew, here is their response via email:

Dan-

Thank you for bringing this to my attention.  Without admitting any wrong-doing, I am working on changes now.

Semper Fi

Nick E. Baucom
703-623-5288 office

www.twomarinesandatruck.com

Wow Nick Baucom even in defeat you are unhonorable. These guys did go on to change the copy but it’s still like our client’s (see it here on copyscape). They just tweaked what our client so honestly paid for. If they had any real honor they’d write it themselves, how about it Marines?

But thanks to the Internet we are able to expose Two Marines And A Truck and soon this article will appear in a Google search for that company for all to see. So think twice about trusting a company that has this kind of honor, you really want them in your house?

What say you kahunas, honor or not?

I’m sure you’ve all seen this cheeseball commercial:

Do you believe this brand called “Lend America”? Do you find it insulting how they pretend to be a newscast? In this day of mortgage crisis do you believe a bad credit score is okay?  Have you done a Google search for the phrase “Lend America Scam”? Would you be surprised to learn there are over 51,000 results? http://www.google.com/search?q=lend+america+scam&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7GGLG_en

Your brand identity is everything, don’t blow it.

Well Republicans that like Glenn Beck anyway. In a recent branding blog article Jonathan says people that watch Glenn Beck are “a small group of right-wing loons, evangelicals, and would-be terrorists“. 

I happen to like Glenn Beck and I don’t seem to fit into the loon, evangelicals or terrorists categories?

So I wrote a response:

Let’s see in one week Beck got Van Jones to quit (fired) and the Census Bureau to sever ties with Acorn.

Add to that that he has the 2nd highest rated cable tv talk show. His show is so wildly popular with “terrorists” (like myself) that all the other shows on MSNBC and CNN and the like combined don’t add up to his numbers. The last time I checked ratings sort of matter.

But what you a SERIOUSLY MISSING is his awesome brand building. He doesn’t want you, he wants you to write these great articles though. Do you feel that hook in your mouth? That’s Beck reeling you in.

I sit in awe at his positioning which is clearly different than anyone out there. People (liberals) like you are never going to like him. The more you hate him the more his “right-wing loons” will dig in and defend him. So as far as branding goes he clearly eliminates liberals and makes his audience ferociously supportive. Sounds like a good plan to me.

I think you totally have this wrong. He’s not the Dems best friend. He’s their worst nightmare. He’s going to keep reeling in liberals like you who will do his bidding. Feel like a sucker?

I’m a huge fan of Glenn Beck and I certainly don’t always agree with his views. Sometimes he’s just to out there but other times I get a neck injury from shaking my head in agreement. He will play a pivotal role in unseating Obama.

I’m disappointed at the name calling and stereotyping in this article. It’s not your best moment and I’ve been a fan for a while. I think it’s also a good idea to go back to what you do best, it’s just to easy to hit the “UNSUBSCRIBE” from my Google Reader…

His response… I encourage you to unsubscribe

Years of me following and supporting his blog. Writing articles on my blog pointing to his blog. Talking on the phone and in one swift moment it all ended. He lost a fellow branding guy, friend and most of all my respect. It’s not cool to ever call Americans terrorists no matter what your political beliefs. Just throwing the word “terrorist” around so haphazedely is scary. He should apologize to a lot of hard working regular people for his statement. But that’s just my opinion.

I deceided to send him a personal email and clarify the issue and this was his response:

Sorry, Scott. I wrote about Beck’s ability to advocate extreme positions that take his followers out of the realm of real debate, and into the category of ideology and sometimes outright fantasy.  Your response to me only proved my case.  There’s no way to debate with people who can’t debate, but who’d rather make nutjob accusations.

What it comes down to is is strong belief in his own thinking basically means he can’t communicate with people on the other side. Love or hate Glenn Beck, the fact that he can’t rationalize why people do like him is again…scary. 

This is not a you like Glenn Beck debate.

What say you kahunas? Cool, uncool?

Social media puts you right out there. It’s unforgiving and it’s a permanent record. Recently I had a political conversation with Ex-Heavy Weight Champion of the World Shannon Briggs. Shannon is promoting his Fight 2 Breathe brand, http://www.fight2breathe.com. A brand he approached me on over a year ago.

We never worked together but became “friends” on Facebook. Shannon is HIS brand, so what your about to read may or may not change how you feel about brand Shannon Briggs (I only have his comments and others that joined the conversation, I was “defriended” after I divulged I was Republican):

“So now Bush is Ancient history? Meanwhile we are still fighting his 2 fabricated wars that’s costing hundreds of millions a day. Meanwhile we are still feeling the affects of his unregulated banking laws which lead to the housing collapse. And the oil prices being sky rocketed at any given time. Or the terror he instilled in the people about 9/11. The Arabs the Muslims! The enemy. The terrorist. Scott I travel the world and most if not all countries laugh and have disgust for America and it’s ignorance. Only now that Obama is in office and this country could elect a black president do they see hope for us. Who’s feeding you this false info on who Obama trust. The dude is trying to fix ole George’s mess. You have no clue or care for what Bush as done to this planet. Twilight Zone. Rod Sterling was an intelligent man.”

“Amazing. None of this was an issue when Bush ran the country in the ground. This has nothing to do with politics it’s fear that a black president means some sort of loss of power. I guess it’s called culture war? LMAO. You guys serious?”

“Scott we got attacked? By Muslims with box cutters that where skilled enough to fly 4 planes around the United States without being detected right? And then we attacked them in Iraq because Saddam was behind it right? And by the way he was stockpiling weapons for them right? And then we attacked their other country Afghanistan because that’s where the leader Bin Laden is right? In the mountains right? Although we can send men into space we can’t get a terrorist in a cave. Right. Wow. This all adds up to you? Does it make any sense to you Scott. Do you not see where you any so many like you are what Rod Sterling made so many episodes about? Fear. Playing into what people fear and using it for profit. This is some sad shit. Rod Sterling may you rest in peace.”

“Get over myself? What is it to get over? Oh the fact that when Bush caused all of this madness and a blackman was elected to step in to try and ‘HELP” he’s being attacked like it’s his fault. I’m actually pissed Obama is president. It’s giving fuel to the Twilight Zone and I hate to see so many “real American” people afraid of losing “their” country. And their taxes go up. LOL. Meanwhile they’re broke as hell and can’t afford healthcare and most get medicare which is socialized medicine. Sheeesh.”

“@ Scott should Bush not have been crucified? Should he not be in prison? People are dead because of him. Innocent people Scott. it was all for big business. I know that doesn’t register and it seems inhumane but that’s the sad case. 9/11, Bin Laden, attacks, Saddam, all set up to create an enemy. Their has to always be an enemy. War is money Scott. So guess what this drummed up fantasy enemy was created so bullets and bombs could be used. If not they stockpile like Saddams right?”

“It’s easy to call me names on here or say rude comments about me being knocked out Scott. In fact it’s the easiest thing you can do on the internet. Talking major shit has become popular. Backing it up has become near extinct. Watch your choice of words. I’ve never posted on your wall nor would I in any disrespectful manner. Once again you’ve proved that being a republican in this day and age is a disease. A bad one. There is nothing to back up anything you say besides ignorance. For you to call yourself a republican proves your clueless. The party of racism, fear and hate. And simple minded easy to trick ass retards.”

At this point another person enters the conversation:

Myron Luzniak also commented on Shannon Briggs’s status:

“With all do respect, Obama isn’t “black”. I love how people forget his caucasian mother Ann Dunham. So the race card doesn’t apply here, since he’s of mixed race. My fiance is a minority, so for anyone to imply that all republicans are racist is plain ignorant. 9/11 was not a conspiracy, and those that think so, are also ignorant. The world has some fanatical people in it, and we were too big for our own good and got caught with our pants down. You may not like Bush’s politics, but he kept us safe for the last 8 years and didn’t go around apologizing for us like our current leader. At least Bush led with conviction and did what he thought was right, and wasn’t on TV every other week selling himself to us like Obama is. Do we have a leader, or a talk show host, or maybe a reality star? We need a president, not a media whore. Have a great weekend all. Cheers!!!”

“Myron. Please never post on my wall again. I said please. And I’m only asking once. Thank you. “

“I’m so not interested in having republicans as fan of friends. Call it what you want but if your political views is that of that party it was nice being associated with you and no disrepect but you more than likely won’t like a super liberal like me. I’m for affirmitive action. I don’t care if gays get married. I love immigrants becuase they have the courage to try and escape to a better life. I hate Bush. I’m not religious. I’m for socialism I you want to call it that. I’m against guns. I’m against war. I’m for free healthcare and for more taxes. And Im getting taxed heavy. I make hundreds an sometimes millions. So go in peace. Defriend my blackass.”

Another new person comments:

Dave Wilcox also commented on Shannon Briggs’s status:

“wow Shannon I respect your opinion but to say you dont like all rebublicans is a bit wierd imo. Have you met them all? Im not even republican but that is the type of thought process that turns into discrimination. I agree about gay marriage and I dont like Bush either, but we need to keep an open mind i would think. I think anyone would agree Bush was a bafoon….Im pretty sure there has been a Democrat or two that did bad things as well. I like to judge people on their actions, not by the color of their jacket. (Red or Blue) with respect..Dave”

“Dave I’m over the birthers the tea baggers the socialist the facist all of the bullshit. It all inciting a riot. And calling on the death of the president. Bringing guns to speeches it’s all asking for the asassination of the president. Me as an African american that has risen from poverty I see this as an attack on a man of color who is only trying to help. And this is the thanks he gets. Bush was an oil man. Look at what he did. He invades Iraq for oil. Sarah Palin quit so she could make money. The party is Wack. I don’t need them. And they don’t need me. I know quite a few resumplicans and they have to common sense nor compassion. “

The moral of this story? In today’s digital world be careful how you use your words in social media because it may affect your personal brand. I’m guessing right now some people may be offended? What say you kahunas?

Today I read a blog post from self proclaimed word of mouth marketing guru Andy Sernovitz. Here’s what he has to say about advertising:

It’s not scalable. The problem with advertising is that you pay for each impression, regardless of how successful you are. It’s not genuine. For enough, you might buy a little attention; but no amount of advertising can establish true love — the kind that makes fans line up for your new products, drag their friends in to see you, or defend you from the naysayers.

How ridiculous. I particularly like this statement: “regardless of how successful you are“. Huh? Advertising is a tactic to get people interested in your product or service. It sparks a flame. Then it’s up to you to provide the product or service that will make people become brand ambassadors. Proclaiming it doesn’t work and that everyone should run out and start a blog, get on twitter and facebook is even more ridiculous. Those tactics aren’t for everyone either.

Social media is a tool that can be used very successfully but it’s not for everyone. Just like certain advertising tactics are not for everyone. But to make statements like Andy does makes me question his knowlege of marketing all together and those that follow him.

What do you think kahunas?

In an effort to keep making horrible ads that have nothing to do with whatever Burger King’s brand identity is they’ve come out with this pile of crap:

Let’s not forget their past insulting work here, Mexican get sizzled, and here, Slap that booty.

Obviously the only branding strategy Burger King can come up with is to be controversial. Brilliant.

So I’m out of the Burger King loop. They obviously want people in the business to write negatively about them because what women is gonna run out and buy this sandwich now? And do men really think they’ll get a blow job? No, the only thing Burger King wants is press, so stop giving it to them, they don’t deserve it.

Ads are meant to do one thing…sell product, period.

Last week I wrote about Burger King introducing the Booty Call to 5 year olds. This week they’ve insulted an entire country and race of people. In this spot they feature a little Mexican draped in the Mexico flag. Why is he little in stature compared to the tall cowboy? Because they’ve introduced a “little spicy mexican” to the Whopper, check it out:

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) ? Fast food giant Burger King apologized Tuesday for an advertisement featuring a squat Mexican draped in his country’s flag next to a tall American cowboy and said it would change the campaign. Read about it here.

Obviously Burger King feels that any negative PR or Buzz is helping their effort. Tell me, when did bad advertising get better because of additional buzz? Burger King has been going down this road for years now, they don’t care. About you, or anyone else they’ve offended. To them the more complaints the better.

Here’s the wonderful spot aimed at kids to promote their kids meal:

If any of this offends you make a conscience decision, don’t eat at Burger King.

It’s been a while since I wrote on my continuing series of “When Naming Goes Bad” but here ya go, branding at its finest:

Manjunk

From the Manjunk website:

Developed by a man for men, Man Junk is a combination of world-class ingredients and relentless attention to detail. Any product that’s made to clean your neck, back, buttocks or legs isn’t going to provide the specific levels of odor fighting and skin treatment that Man Junk does.

I had no idea my personal Manjunk reeked that bad? All these years of using the same soap to wash my entire body? What was I thinking? I need this product like I need a 5th blade on my razor.

Here’s a better more appropriate name for this product:

MANJOKE

According to actor Matt Damon Sarah Palin is an “absurd” thought. And McCain has a 1/3 chance of dying in office…Oh and let’s not forget that he says “It’s like a really bad Disney movie”.

Nah, nah, nah nah, hey, hey, hey…goodbye (to Matt’s career). He just insulted half of the country and threw Disney under the bus.

I guess this is no surprise as Matt Damon is from Boston and Massachusetts is historically a democrat state. Add to it he’s now from Hollywood and is a liberal.

Here’s my take on it. Matt Damon like the band?Heart should just shut their pie holes and protect their own brand image. Putting yourself out there in a heated election just pisses the other side off. Like me.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but when you’re a star the rules change for you. You have to protect your brand first and foremost.

Matt Damon just made 48% of the voting population pretty mad. Instead of trashing Sarah Palin why not do something more constructive like pointing out why Obama/Biden are better.?Trashing someone over your political views?is bad business, especially in the movie business.

What do you think? Should these stars come out and trash the other side?

If you think Matt was a nincompoop for making this video click on the VOTE FOR ME? button below.

It’s my first, I popped my blogging cherry. Andy Sernovitz has banned me from posting on his blog?site Damn! I Wish I’d Thought Of That!. Not only did he ban me but he reported me as a spammer. That’s so uncool. And simply not true. We all know what a spammer is and leaving comments that are different than your opinion is not spamming.

Sorry Andy that in my opinion I find you to be?a charlatan.

?

But now you’re a coward as well.

Many people think Andy is a word of mouth genius…I find him to be more of a?smoke and mirrors, marketing gimmick kind of guy. Of course that’s just my humble opinion.

Apparently he didn’t like my opinions of him:

Andy Sernovitz Wants You To Let Him Steal Your Logo?

Marketing Gimmicks Vs Branding Strategy

Can You Build A Brand Around Gimmicks?

High Point University – Hot Tubs and Ice Cream

Andy Sernovitz Branding and Word of Mouth Marketing

Hence I’m banned from learning about how a handwritten smile on a receipt is great word of mouth or like his post today where putting out cookies and candy at a Fantastic Sam’s “makes the difference”.

My day is ruined, I’m banned by Andy Sernovitz.

**Show us some clicky-love,?mouse up and VOTE FOR?ME?in the big green box on the upper right! Help us win -?you can vote once a day**

Okay, okay, stop making fun of word of mouth guru Andy Sernovitz but it’s hard when he writes things like this:

If I can’t save the logo off your web page, I’m not going to include it in a blog post.?

Lesson:? If you want people to spread word of mouth about you — make it easy.

Yea, and while you’re at it give them that secret recipe to Coke. How about that special sauce McDonald’s? Hell bastardize our logo anyway you like after all Andy Sernovitz says we should. Hey here’s a good idea, take the Nike logo and pair it with the Reebok logo and put boxing gloves on them, that sounds like fun.

Two little words Andy: Copyright Infringement or let’s really get crazy: Trademark Infringement, you choose.

But since he recommends it, here goes…

Andy Sernovitz says copying?logos is a good practice for word of mouth, sign up below and he’ll teach you how to get your logo copied?so others can use it on their blog anyway they want.

How’s that for spreading some word of mouth?

Is this guy a for real marketing person? Seriously?

Help me out my branding?blog readers…do you ever recommend making your logo or a clients logo open to being used anyway people want?